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Unequally Yoked? I Can Date Who I Want, Right?

WRONG!!!  The main purpose of this blog is to hit on unequally yoked relationships between Christians and unbelievers.

So let’s talk about the popular topic of relationships, which is a natural course of human nature.  God’s Word must be the standard by which we live EVERY aspect of our lives.  The problem is that we tend to try to “pick and choose” which areas of our lives we want to be guided by God and His Word, and which areas of our lives we want to guide ourselves.  Relationships seem to be one of the hot topics that we try to govern ourselves instead of following God’s outline in the Word.

So what does the Word say about unequally yoked relationships?  Well first off, Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:  for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?  and what communion hath light with darkness”?  This verse alone tells us that a Christian should NOT be dating an unbeliever.  Many object to this and try to rationalize it the best way they can.  You know...you’ve probably heard it before:  “I can change him” or “I can make her come to Christ and believe, right”?  WRONG!!!  God is the ONLY one that can change hearts.  Sister, you CANNOT change that man’s heart and make him follow Christ.  Brother, you CANNOT change that woman’s heart and make her follow Christ. 

Men and women are not do-it-yourself projects.  You can’t take a man or woman and sculpt them into who you want them to be or who you think they should be.  As a follower of Christ, Christ is your foundation and source of life.  If you are following hard after Christ and Christ is the center of your life, and this other person is still struggling with the existence of Jesus Christ as Savior, what do you have in common?  NOTHING!!  Or let’s say they “believe” in the existence of Christ, but don’t live for Him.  You still have NOTHING in common with that person (nothing of eternal value).  As a Christian, the Word of God is your standard for which you live your life.  So let’s say you’ve come to Christ, He has completely changed you from the inside out, and now you meet this guy who isn’t saved.  You stopped having sex outside of marriage (which is called fornication, and this is a sin), but this unsaved guy is constantly pressuring you to sleep with him.  So you compromise and have sex with him.  You see where I’m going with this?  As a Christian, your eyes are on Christ.  If a man or woman makes you take your eyes off Christ, that relationship is not right and it is not good for you.  A relationship should make you grow more in Christ.  That person should push you to Christ, encourage you, push you to study the Word, cover you in prayer, etc.  If your relationship is not pushing you to Christ, it is pulling you away!!  Don’t even start that relationship, because it is NOT worth it!

Another way people try to rationalize dating an unbeliever is this:  hey, I’m single and tired of being lonely and I need some company for a while.  Don’t even waste precious moments entertaining the idea of dating an unbeliever, no matter what your circumstances are.  You try to rationalize it by saying there are no Christian guys or girls in your area, so you must settle and date whomever, if only for a while. 

Well let me break this down:  unequally yoked relationships lead to unequally yoked marriages.  No marriage takes place without first starting at the relationship stage.  So if you date an unbeliever now, there are only two possible outcomes:  either you end up getting married and your marriage is unequally yoked OR you end up breaking up and more unnecessary damage is done to your heart and theirs. 

In marriage, two become one.  Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:  and they shall be one flesh.”  Now let’s look at another scripture.  Second Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:  old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”  So when you heard the truth of the gospel and the Holy Spirit convicted your heart and drew you, you came to Christ, repented of your sins, received forgiveness, and now you are saved and a new creature.  Get it?  You are a new creature....a NEW creature.  Because you are a new creature, you must marry a new creature so that in your children, you can reproduce new creatures.  A NEW creature in Christ absolutely CANNOT just date an OLD creature who has not surrendered his or her life to Christ and is not living for Him.  Being a new creature in Christ is like being a new species.  In order for the new species to populate the earth, it must marry and reproduce with the new species so that the image of the new species is reproduced and flourishes.  You CANNOT afford to date and marry an OLD creature and become one with him or her!!!  Don’t become one with someone who has yet to become one with Christ.  It’s NOT worth it!!  Two “new” creatures who come together in marriage and reproduce can instill in those children the values of Christ and reproduce Christ’s image in the next generation.  Ladies, how can your man teach your one-day children the Word of God if he doesn’t know it?  Fellas, how can your lady teach your one-day children the Word of God if she doesn’t know it?  A “new” creature has NOTHING in common with an “old” creature.  The goal is to produce a generation of new creatures following after Christ, which is why we cannot date unbelievers.

Christians:  please hear me on this!  We have GOT to trust God to provide a mate for us.  As a single woman in Christ, my focus has to be on Christ, not trying to get a man.  How can God bring my husband if I’m constantly trying to write my own love story and keep dating all of these random unbelievers, knowing that they are pulling my heart away from God, making me compromise my standards, and knowing that these guys are not God’s best for me?  When God sees fit to bless me with my husband, it will happen, but ONLY in God’s timing, not my own.  Psalm 84:11 says, “For the Lord God is a sun and shield:  the Lord will give grace and glory:  no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.”  If you do not have a husband or wife right now, trust God and know that when it is good for you to have one, He will provide.  God is our provider, so when the timing is right, He will provide.

God loves you with an everlasting love.  He desires to be the center and foundation of our lives.  He desires to be our greatest desire, our greatest delight, and our greatest devotion.  God longs to have a personal relationship with each one of you all, and He loves you all dearly!  Let our focus be on pursuing Christlikeness DAILY and spending time with Him daily through prayer and studying the Word!